With Transparency I Rise….
Let’s face it, no one likes to show their weaknesses or tell of their mistakes. However, on this path of becoming a successful entrepreneur, I find myself doing that very thing. In this virtual world we live in, where everyone is so exposed, how can we not get over ourselves and just be REAL.
As a professional black female, I have two faces. NO, I am not two faced as in saying one thing to your face and then something else behind your back. Well, in lieu of being transparent, there may have been a few instances when I have not been completely truthful to someone’s face. But it is not about cruelty, no way, it is to be gentle and kind so as not to hurt that person. Well……okay, maybe it has been just so I do not lose my job or get in a fight. Now, that is about as thorough as I can be.
My point about the two faces is that I was raised to have a “white” voice and my normal voice. I don’t want you getting all racial up in here, I am explaining a truth that black people, especially black men, all understand. As children, we are taught to talk white when around white people and when you are amongst your peeps well then you can be you. I am not referencing being polite. We are taught to “tone” down our personality so as not to come off too black. I am going to stop here and say, I was wrong to say all black children were taught this. I also want to make it clear that being taught this was not in anyway a put down against being black. It also was not a form of embarrassment of one’s ethnicity. Being taught to be different in white settings, was a survival tactic.
The more I think about what I am saying, I realize something. The parents and grandparents that witnessed slavery, that could not go in certain places because of their skin color and or experienced the Civil Rights Movement or other racial atrocities, are truly coming from a survival stance. Imagine, well you can’t, but let me give this a whirl.
You grow up a glasses wearer. You are made fun of, you are not allowed to go to movies or drive a car or get to use coupons (okay, I know this sounds crazy..but so is discrimination). Back to my story. You then have children and two of your three children need glasses.
Fast forward, now times have changed and glasses wearers are given all the freedoms of non glasses wearers. However, there are situations where, the glasses wearers are not given certain jobs or discounts in a way that is not blatant but still they are not treated the same as non glasses wearers. As a parent, in an effort to decrease possible glasses wearing discriminations, you suggest to the two kids to wear contacts. That way at home they can wear the glasses and be comfortable but out in public they can appear like the rest.
So as absurd of an example as that was, I hope you can see why I feel it is about survival. Now times have changed and the black and white lines are very gray. This is good! I am so excited with the young folk of today who do not give a damn about what someone’s color happens to be. Are there parents that still abuse their children by teaching them to judge or mistreat others because of their skin color? YES. But I believe there is hope for even them because of the colorless eyes that the majority of today’s youth look through.
It may seem I have gone way off the path from my initial topic of transparency, but not so much. A black child who grows up understanding she may have to put on a low key personality disguise when not at home is really no different than acting like you are immune to weaknesses or flaws. Both do not allow for the REAL YOU to show. Side Note: IN NO WAY DO I SEE MY RACE AS A FLAW, WEAKNESS, OR SETBACK. Just want to be crystal clear that the only similarity I am making is about transparency.
As I am being transparent by even discussing this, I want you to realize it is okay to talk about sensitive issues. It is okay to expose your weaknesses, because at the end of the day, we all have them. When you can be vulnerable, Mr. or Ms. Entrepreneur, that speaks volumes to your clients and customers about your Values. It seems weird, right. Well, how come so many people struggle with the idea of doing Facebook Lives? The idea of getting in front of the world and sharing something is NOT easy.
I have discussed recently on my Facebook page, the power of online communities. How, when you find the right group, it really can lead to building relationships with those who have similar interests and maybe even to learning new skills and concepts. In the network marketing community, Rank Makers, I was involved in a 14 day challenge. Show up 14 days with a live video on Facebook and be yourself! Talk about refreshing and scary at the same time. I wouldn’t ever have done a live video if it had not been for that challenge. What better way for folk to get to know you than being Yourself, weaknesses, failures, mistakes and all.
I said all of that to say, it really is okay to be yourself. Sounds cliché and obvious but after hearing what I shared above, I have to wonder if your perspective may have shifted. I believe being real in front of the camera and all over social media can have a major impact on the level of success of an online entrepreneur. People want to know that you have issues just like them. They need to understand, that success does not happen overnight and that you too once struggled to grow your business. But your mistakes and setbacks are what made YOU who you are today. So here’s to Transparency. Cheers!
